Curiosity, and the blessings from back pain… Part One

IMG_1198.JPG‘Whichever path you take, you’ll end up where you’re meant to be.’ Di

Hello there,

I’ve been on a personal development journey for many years now, reading, listening, learning and using myself as a crash test dummy if you like, by experiencing many modalities for emotional and physical healing.
…Last year, from the most unlikely experience, it became more of a concentrated spiritual path to self-acceptance. A happy journey in retrospect but firstly I have to set the scene for you.

I define my spiritual journey as an awareness of myself, lessons I’ve learnt, tools for personal evolution, where I fit into the world, what I believe is my wider purpose.
It’s not about becoming elitist or superior. Absolutely not. It’s more about how I can become a better version of myself. Does that mean finding perfection and eliminating my ‘flaws’ and imperfections?
Please come, as we uncover some universal truths.

For most of my adult life, I’d been on a health and nutrition path and dreamt of attending a university here in Melbourne dedicated to all matters of Health. In between times, I’d taken myself off to study alternative health certificates. But still I ached for a Nutrition or Naturopathic Degree. Perhaps this Degree was my means of validation and showing myself the acceptance to quell my feelings of inadequacy.

Part of this ache was to write for one of my favourite health publications, Nature and health magazine. My intention was to become published and share important health information. Blogging, and writing was always at the back of my mind. I’d scribble down blog post ideas in the quiet spaces. It became a gentle dream for ‘one day….’

So, at the end of 2014, with the support of my husband, I decided it was now the time to leave my job and pursue this dream of becoming a Naturopath or Nutritionist. Perhaps I’d made peace with the fact the fair thing to do for us all was leaving my job if I was seriously going to follow my dreams. Time had arrived to be true to myself and stop wondering ‘what if…’ and that other big one…’if only…’

I enrolled.

Excitedly, I began study in 2015. I adored the science and learnt about research papers, how to put together a paper myself, including references. It was the most intense year I’ve ever experienced but unfortunately it took every minute of my being to stay up to speed with the work.
It was meant to be fun, which it was in its own way, but at the expense of everything else I loved…and I had five more years of living like this…
So at the end of the exam period, I made the difficult decision to walk away…which in effect, also entailed walking away from my dream…

Over the ensuing weeks, I became crazed at finding my new path.
…I now had no job,
…No study.

And not long after, a funny thing happened…I suddenly stopped being so fanatical about health and watching everything I ate, as I realised that emotional health and contentment is a huge part of being well and healthy. I just didn’t feel as intense any longer about scrutinising every mouthful I ate.

I hadn’t yet received my opportunity to connected the dots…

My satisfaction level towards myself was really now confined to having only passed Year 1 of university. I based my self-worth on achieving that piece of paper because that’s what society expects from us…to have some formal qualification and to participate actively in the workforce.
The anxiety to fill the void grew….

People were suggesting I just take some time out after bringing up the children and simply enjoy being an empty nester. It’s not that easy when hedonistic pursuits are not your main driver.
I strained and forced to find a new purpose, often pushing myself at things hoping to find a path there. I met dead ends.

This is when a little seed began to grow about thoughts, affirmations and positive psychology.
I know! I’d heard about these things forever and attempted to use them before to become more confident and overcome my flaws and become well…’normal’, whatever that was for me at the time. Most likely becoming the life of the party, standing up giving talks and presentations as effortlessly as how everyone else appeared, not being so easily wounded about simple things. In effect, getting that thick skin that people had been suggesting I acquire for much of my life…
I had no idea how I could grow that thick skin to be more acceptable in the world.

It was then that I came across this quote…I wrote it on a sticky note and attached it to my bathroom mirror.

IMG_1200

And so I worked on allowing myself to become comfortable with the unknown…
that meant to some extent, I was to hand my future over to the universe who, I trust, has plans for a person with my traits and dreams.

I have to admit I found it challenging at the checkout, if someone would ask me what I had on for the rest of the day…that became another source of embarrassment and angst…

And so I cooked, devised new recipes, even offering my local greengrocer some recipes…tried to keep busy any way I could. I began to take photos of the dishes with my iPhone after a friend showed me a beautiful cake website… the images of the cakes were inspiring…
My daughter was being married the March of 2016, so I was able to become more fully engaged in the details for that special day, doing what I could to help out with last minute planning.

Christmas time, 2015 arrived, and my husband presented me with the new iPhone…

One hot, quiet afternoon in January last year, I became curious…

‘How does this iPhone camera work?

Thank you so much for reading part 1 and coming along for the ride. I hope you will come by again for a visit and a cuppa for part 2 next time.

With Love,

Di

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40 thoughts on “Curiosity, and the blessings from back pain… Part One

  1. Oooooh! Di, I relate to your journey and experience so very much, in fact, I have been and still am re-inventing my life, trying to find my place of joy and contribution. It’s no easy feat, like you say, when we have been and are influenced and affected by the structures in our social culture, such as judgements about whether we are worthy to carry out a job or role or be listened to without a degree!!!!!! It really is nonsense. You are definitely a natural people person and a connector of hearts which is such a gift to the world. Not forgetting too, a highly talented photographer ⭐️⭐️⭐️. I am looking forward to part 2 beautiful lady. Much love, Carol xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear Carol,
      What an amazing and very supportive response to my post. I cannot thank you enough for all your kind words, including about my photography.
      I’m so glad you could resonate with my journey and it’s in the sharing we discover we’re not alone.
      I’m truly humbled by your kindness. Thank you again for stopping by, my friend 💐💜

      Like

  2. Di, I LOVE this post in so many ways!!!! I love how your share your journey and your struggles. We have all been there at different times in our lives. For me, I had my kids later so all my 20s and early 30s were about the rate race and trying to build my career which I hated. I never was happy and always felt lost. Then I had my kids and instead of going back to my career I left it. A complete surprise as it was not in the plan. Then after being home for 6 years raising the kids I read a beautiful article on how lucky we are to be able to reinvent ourselves. I traveled with my dad, started a blog and 6.5 years later am on the right path. I can’t wait to read part 2! I can see you actually as a life coach or someone who teaches mindfulness. I just did a 6 week course by a mindful life coach and it was amazingly life hanging. She does it all online.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear Nicole🌸
      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and life journey so far… I love the discussions that our blog posts foster.
      So for you, it sounds that the idea of building the career that society expects wasn’t your way to contentment either. Leaving it to pursue something that resonated with your values and passions was the gateway to a different way of living. This is so thrilling to read, and I’m very happy for you. It clearly is something you are very good at and touch a lot of lives that way.
      That’s really kind of you to suggest something that would also be in line with my values and you’re right, mindfulness certainly is. There are so many things we can offer online now.
      As you know, I’ve just completed an intensive workshop in EFT which is amazing. So there are many possibilities for sure.
      Thank you for your kind words about this post… I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
      You are so lovely and I value you and your loyalty very much 💐🌟

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Di, I found it. It wasn’t in spam I just hadn’t caught up I guess. What was the EFT workshop? Sounds intriguing! Yes you would be excellent doing work in this field! You are so inspiring! I appreciate your loyalty the same. It is so wonderful meeting such inspiring people online! That is why I am still doing this after six years! 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh that’s quite alright Nicole. Comments would be hard to keep up with when you receive so many.
        The EFT method is about tapping on acupuncture points while reliving a stressful situation to diffuse the charge behind the emotion of it. It can clear blockages and all types of issues. It’s based on the meridian and acupuncture theory.
        Thank you for asking.
        I’m happy to know you still clearly enjoy blogging and I’d love to know more one day about stepping it up to travel for it like you do. One day and if you’re ready to share. You are living a beautiful, large life for sure, from my view.
        Thank you again and take care 🙋🏻🌹🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      3. EFT sounds amazing! Did you have lots of undiscovered emotions under them? I do acupuncture a lot to help my chronic neck pain I’ve has for three decades. Acupuncture also is the only thing that truly makes me feel stress free (except travel!). I love it. Hope you write more about it but perhaps it is in that post. I need to read it but am so behind. Will soon!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Hello dear Nicole… firstly, thank you so much. And please take your time reading the next instalments…. I understand you have a lot on and your loyalty and support are never a question.
        But you have brought up some wonderful points and I love the thought that you seek acupuncture for your neck pain. And yes, I touch on it in part 3 and if I ever have the courage, my acupuncturist and I agreed to an interview one day….. it may come to fruition.
        And yes, EFT brought up a lot of emotions from me as well as the others in the workshop. They are still surfacing for me a week later. But that’s me at the best of times….
        thank you so much again for your lovely contribution to my post.
        I value hearing from you 💐🌟🌟

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I am very much looking forward to part two, Di! It takes courage to let a dream go, and I commend you for your bravery in doing so. Success, to me, is defined by discovering pure happiness and peace within ourselves and possessing an unwavering love for ourselves. I know I have achieved these things. And, though I don’t have a degree to show for myself, and received my post-secondary education from the Hard Knocks School of Life, I know I have succeeded. I know exactly who I am, and with that knowledge, believe I can accomplish anything and am very thankful for that. You have succeeded more than you know, and should be so proud of all you have accomplished. And who you are. Every word you share with us inspires and challenges us to be better people. You have the power to change the world, and in my opinion, you’ve already begun doing exactly that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello my dear Tanya…
      I absorbed every word and at the end, I had such a happy smile…. you truly have a way with words. I’m touched and honoured by them.
      Thank you sincerely as well as for offering your beautiful thoughts on success.
      To read that you have now reached the point of saying you have an unwavering love for yourself…. dear Tanya, once you can say that, magic happens. I’m so happy for you. I’m much more able to say that about myself too now. It’s powerful indeed.
      Again, I cannot let you know enough how much your kind support and encouragement mean to me….
      much love and gratitude to you 💐❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Di! Hope you had yourself a great weekend! Thanks for saying all of these very kind things to me, it means a lot! And I couldn’t agree with you more, magic happens when we accept and love ourselves – it is a really great feeling! Much love to you also! Hope you are well! 💕

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hello dear Tanya!
        You’re so welcome. It’s you I have to thank for your kind and gentle words.
        Yes it was a busy few days doing a workshop about the mind and body connection. The self acceptance/love concept is a big issue in society.
        Yes, you are so right…it’s a splendid feeling and a topic that comes up a lot as I mull over the writing of my part 2 today.
        I’m a little behind in reading blogs so if you have a new post, I’ll certainly be catching up in the next couple of days my friend.
        I’m well thank you and I trust you are too.
        Hugs across the water from me 🌎💕

        Like

  4. What an honest and very revealing post Di. I so enjoyed learning more about you and your journey, there is so much here I can relate to. I know all too well the pressure involved in uncertainty and trying to find our purpose. For years I wondered whether the path I was walking was the right one (and I still question so much). In the end it comes down to your quote, we’re right where we’re meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, I strongly believe that, just as you’re navigating through this process of finding yourself again. And you will Di, of that I have no doubt. Wishing you love, clarity and light my friend, as you venture forward into rediscovering your real self, free of all labels but being true to yourself instead. Can’t wait to read part 2. Big hugs from me xo 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello beautiful,
      Thank you so much for your honest contribution to my post. It’s means a lot and yes, it’s not an easy thing to decide where you’re meant to head next… waiting for something to come along and bowl us over saying ‘here I am!’
      I really appreciate your wishes of love light and clarity my friend. I know we’re all in this together and hoping sharing our journeys may offer some hope to others.
      Thank you for being part of it, as well as your kind words here too. I’m very honoured.
      Take care and sending love and light in return 🌈✨❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We absolutely are all in this together, that’s one of the best things about blogging. 💕 Hope you’re enjoying your weekend. Big hugs and much love to you Di. xo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much dear Miriam. I knew you’d understand.
        A big weekend of a workshop dealing in emotions and how they hold us back. Another full day tomorrow.
        Hope you had a peaceful weekend and hope you have an amazing week my lovely friend 🌈💕

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh that workshop sounds intense and definitely worthwhile Di, I hope you’re enjoying it.
        My weekend’s been one full of high anxiety, for several reasons, but I’m happy to say it’s ended on a good note celebrating my nephew’s 11th birthday. Nothing like kids and some innocence to remind us not to take life too seriously.
        Have a great week ahead Di and enjoy the workshop. 💕xo

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Morning Miriam. Thank you, yes it’s very intense and one that is resonating hugely.
        I’m sorry you have been feeling so anxious. You are certainly not alone and the most common theme across the weekend.
        Glad you started to relax a bit after your nephew’s party.
        And I know what you mean about taking life too seriously…. it’s so hard to change when it’s what you (we) do!
        Wishing you a peaceful week in your heart, my friend.
        Hugs to you 🌈❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Brigid. Yes, that quote is a good one. And it’s still on my mirror!
      I’ve finally found my password and ordered your new paperback… I’m looking forward to reading it my friend.
      Take care and thank you again 💐✨✨✨

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Di,
    I can relate to your inner struggle and have a smile in my face in knowing it. I am sorry to smile but I believe its a gift, for all who went through this dry spells of heart and mind and desperately seeking for a shower of knowledge and bliss to come at peace and explore further.

    Below I am pasting a snippet about Knowledge as experienced and shared by Vivekananda.
    “Knowledge, again, is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside; it is all inside. What we say a man “knows”, should, in strict psychological language, be what he “discovers” or “unveils”; what a man “learns” is really what he “discovers”, by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge. We say Newton discovered gravitation. Was it sitting anywhere in a corner waiting for him? It was in his own mind; the time came and he found it out. All knowledge that the world has ever received comes from the mind; the infinite library of the universe is in your own mind. The external world is simply the suggestion, the occasion, which sets you to study your own mind, but the object of your study is always your own mind. The falling of an apple gave the suggestion to Newton, and he studied his own mind. He rearranged all the previous links of thought in his mind and discovered a new link among them, which we call the law of gravitation. It was not in the apple nor in anything in the center of the earth. All knowledge, therefore, secular or spiritual, is in the human mind. In many cases it is not discovered, but remains covered, and when the covering is being slowly taken off, we say, “We are learning,” and the advance of knowledge is made by the advance of this process of uncovering.
    Knowledge can never be created, it can only be discovered; and every man who makes a great discovery is inspired. Only, when it is a spiritual truth he brings, we call him a prophet; and when it is on the physical plane, we call him a scientific man, and we attribute more importance to the former, although the source of all truth is one.”

    I am just trying to learn and what I relate I share. Please be open to accept/reject/experience as much and as needed.
    Love and Care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear ArtOfMobile,
      You are so special…
      Thank you so much for feeling so comfortable to contribute beautiful pieces that you think will add to my post. It means a lot.
      And this one is truly stunning and aligns with much of what my journey I describe, is about. Inspiration is coming to and through us, not from us necessarily. I adore the thought that we are being ‘uncovered’ as the reason for what we are learning…
      Beautiful, perfectly appropriate quote, again.
      Thank you so much for taking time to read and leave this wonderful comment, my friend
      Sending love and best wishes in return…💐💕

      Like

      1. Thank you for your lovely reply and kind words… It’s a brilliant piece to share and I’m very glad you did. Yes, it will be intensive, you’re right.
        See you on the other side of it, my dear friend 🌸🌟🌸

        Like

  6. I enjoyed reading this, Di! I could definitely relate to the “what if’s” and “if only’s”…and sometimes it becomes difficult to recognize what we truly want for ourselves when there are other expectations and standards set by other people around us…
    That quote that you shared is also very Powerful. I agree that we could allow more opportunities for ourselves if we put off our guards and just master our fears for the unknown.
    I look forward to the continuation of your story! 😊💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Nina,
      And thank you so much for your lovely words and contribution to this post. I really appreciate them.
      I’m so glad you could resonate with it, Yes, it’s so easy to stay safe and be the person people know us to be rather than beginning to follow our own truth. That’s where we can become our authentic selves and become more able to give.
      Thank you again so much for reading and stopping by, Nina 💕💐

      Like

  7. I’m so glad you have found a sweeter path to travel. I also struggled at the “checkout” always felt worthless because I wasn’t in pursuit of the mighty dollar and hefty qualifications. Feeling guilty because you don’t want those things is such a waste of life. Looking forward to the next instalment of your journey.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Barbara,
      How lovely to see your name pop up in comments.
      Thank you so much for very kind supportive words. I’m touched that this resonated for you.
      And you have mentioned the ‘guilty’ word, which is a true and perfect way to describe the feelings towards the situation.
      Thank you again so much and I’m happy to know you are looking forward to part two. Oh… and please feel welcome to bring your cuppa when you read my posts… I like to think it’s like we’re chatting over a cuppa in the virtual world… 💕💐

      Like

  8. Just finishing my cuppa as I read this. Oh boy, can I relate to that dreaded question at the checkout! And the hairdressers! Because if you’re not REALLY busy, your life has no meaning, right? Hehe. As you know, I’m having to also become comfortable with uncertainty in my life. There’s are chunks of excitement and chunks of fear involved. Loving this post, as I do all of yours. Look forward to the next instalment. 😘😘💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello dear Kim,
      I’m so glad you paused for a cuppa with me…
      Thank you for relating my story with how you feel too. There is healing in the togetherness that you’re not alone…
      Yes, I understand you too are experiencing uncertainty. I do hope the quote by Tolle is something that will bring you comfort as well.
      I truly appreciate your kind and encouraging words about my posts…that means so much to me. Thank you again Kim 💐💕

      Like

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