Forgiveness and self-acceptance, to Sympathetic Joy…

Hello and welcome,

I’d love to share another cuppa together while we ponder sympathetic joy through the art of self-acceptance through forgiveness…

I’m contributing this piece to Debbie, of Forgiving Connects and her ForgivingFridays initiative, where she kindly invites us to ponder the steps we can take towards self-forgiveness, a huge leap towards self-acceptance and love.

 

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Accepting ourselves involves all the traits we deem unworthy of our acceptance.
We cannot begin to see ourselves as whole until we acknowledge those parts of us we are hoping no one notices….

Take jealousy for example…

I’ve been the worst at being jealous of everyone and everything they’ve achieved.
It’s only recently I’m beginning to get a grip on this.

I can see where these intense feelings were coming from now….
I wasn’t happy with myself. It was like life had become one huge race, where there was one set of rules on how to be successful, how to live a happy life…

I was living according to everyone else’s idea of what that should look like.

As a result, I’d allow myself to gravitate towards traits, experiences, material things that I associated with a successful life.

Perhaps I was running away from being myself?

This realisation began through the critical journey towards self-acceptance…

Learning to explore what those intense feelings were trying to teach me, began the journey to accept it as part of me.
And like a naughty child, once some attention is given to them, they don’t feel as desperate to create havoc…

Becoming more comfortable with myself enabled me to reach a point where I can now be happy for others’ successes. Any residual feelings means there are more lessons for me to learn.

As part of this acceptance, I discovered there is a term in Buddhism for this…the wonderful world of Sympathetic Joy.

Once I discovered I could cultivate this by focusing less on ‘eradicating’ jealousy, and focusing on learning how to be truly happy for others, it became a new way of thinking, like a mindful mental workout.

That doesn’t mean that little ‘green eyed monster’ won’t rear its little head any more.

But I’ve made peace with who I am, what I believe are my strengths and can laugh at the ‘rest’ of me now. Believe me, there are plenty of those occasions….

It helps negate the desire for the worst kind of comparison…the type that originates from those feelings of unworthiness, as opposed to being inspired to reach a level we wish to attain, coming from a place of love, or simply just being happy within ourselves for no particular reason.

The act of self-acceptance means when we have our buttons pushed by others, we have a greater capacity for seeing that person with compassion and understanding, knowing where they are coming from….after all, at any given moment we can also be in that place of discomfort and need to lash out in our own way.

In our wholeness, we can also at times be belligerent, jealous, thoughtless…

I forgive myself for feeling inadequate when I compare myself unfavourably against others, or display emotions that I have deemed ‘unworthy’.

A spiritual journey isn’t so much about ignoring  or attempting to ‘mend’ all those parts of us.
It’s about diving deep into our messiness, understanding ourselves, going ‘within’ in order to have greater capacity to emerge, with greater awareness of the impact we have on others.

In a way, it can become the essence of our purpose…

It begs us to ask the question, ‘How can I be more loving in this situation?’

We learn to respond rather than react.

When we return to the world in a state of non-judgement towards ourselves, we can offer this gift of peace, of being fully present and compassionate towards everyone we meet, including revelling in their joyful moments.
In other words, we see ‘us’ in everyone….

Everyone becomes our teacher, helping us forge deeper roots to anchor our growth…

It embraces the power of connection, and is my new interpretation of the expression ‘we are all connected’…

…when we can delight in the joy of others, because we too understand joy,
and also…

…when we can sit with them in their pain, because we have also known pain.

That’s when the beautiful magic between us and others begins…

The quote by Teal Swan is from the link I’m including here, titled ‘Self Love – The great Shortcut to Enlightenment.’
If you have a desire to listen in your own time, I hope you enjoy it too. There are some amazing pearls of wisdom in her teachings.

As always, I thank you for being here,
Much love from Di 💜

 

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55 thoughts on “Forgiveness and self-acceptance, to Sympathetic Joy…

    1. Hello Thrifty Campers,
      That’s really lovely of you to visit my blog and read this post.
      I appreciate your kind words and yes, you are so right. Accepting oneself is such an enormous topic and one I’ve become very passionate about.
      Take care, and thank you so much,
      Di 💐✨

      Like

  1. What an inspiring post Di 🙏🏻🌈 thank you so much for sharing your profound words and for being so open and vulnerable about the topic of jealousy and comparison; something we can all relate to! This paragraph really stood out to me:

    ‘A spiritual journey isn’t so much about ignoring  or attempting to ‘mend’ all those parts of us.
It’s about diving deep into our messiness, understanding ourselves, going ‘within’ in order to have greater capacity to emerge, with greater awareness of the impact we have on others.’

    Just wow.

    Great post Di 🌹❤️😘 xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello dear Hayley,
      As the writer you are, your very kind words have really meant so much. Thank you for everything and for your appreciation of what I’ve expressed here.
      With much gratitude to you for being here,
      Di 💕💐

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Warm wishes to you my friend, I too am having trouble with WordPress comments and not being able to post them always 🙄 there must be a bug in the system – wishing you a wonderful day Di 🌈💗🙏🏻☀️ xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, lovely.
        Yes, it’s just a random thing but I’ve received yours as far as I can tell.

        Miriam will get back to me when she is settled and we can all catch up 😍
        Have a wonderful rest of Friday too, Hayley 💐💕

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Di, I love this post! Wow, there are so many nuggets of wisdom re: self-acceptance and living in love. My fav part is this awesome question: It begs us to ask the question, ‘How can I be more loving in this situation?’

    I aspire to ask this question every day. Thank you so much Di.

    If you’d like, you are very welcome to contribute this post for Forgiving Fridays. To me, self-acceptance is a foundation for forgiveness and loving no matter what. To participate, simply include a pingback to my most recent post plus add #ForgivingFridays to your tags. Here’s my latest post if helpful: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/08/04/todays-forgiving-fridays-endless-compassion/

    Sending you love Di! About to go offline for my spiritual retreat.
    Blessings, Debbie ❤ 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear Debbie,
      I am so honoured that you would like my post as part of your ForgivingFridays.
      I have added a few words here and there to tie it in well. You are right…it’s all about forgiveness. So I’ve added your pingbacks, thank you. I’m so sorry I hadn’t thought to link the two. Thank you for seeing something I can’t always see…

      I know you will enjoy your spiritual retreat my friend.
      Sending love and a hug to you too ♥️💐

      Like

  3. Thank you for this thoughtful post Di. I am sure it’s not me (I hope it’s not just me!) but social media does not help one’s search for self-acceptance does it? Just when I think I have reached a good place, content with myself and my achievements, wham comes along a funny blog post, a beautiful photo, a well-constructed sentence, an innovative idea, and up pops Mr Green Eyes! For me it’s trying to cultivate that first positive affirmation of someone’s achievement and not immediately relating it to me and unfavourably comparing myself. I think your link to Sympathetic Joy may help. Thanks as always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear Denzil,
      Thank you so much for reading and this post and offering your helpful and personal thoughts.
      I agree wholeheartedly with you and I’m feeling it again a little now. Comparison can be such a hurdle and in creeps the self doubt that (I) we thought we had a handle on…
      I am now attempting to dive in and see what it’s trying to show me. There has to be a positive out of the green eyes doesn’t there? I certainly write my posts as reminders and pep talks to myself too…
      Wishing you a lovely week and thank you for understanding. It’s a topic not really discussed and I really wanted to have one, so thank you.
      I hope you enjoy the Sympathetic Joy site.
      Until soon,
      Di 🙋🏻💐

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Miriam…
      Thank you so much.
      It’s been a quiet week on the blog front…
      Yes we are certainly a work in progress forever and these realisations are part of the journey aren’t they?
      Thank you again and hugs in return, lovely 🙏🏼🙋🏻💕

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Di! Your mind is such a special place, and your perspective is one I really admire. One thing that really stood out in your post to me, is the ‘respond vs react.’ Responding rather than reacting is something I have been consciously practicing for several years now and it has changed everything. Not often do I go to bed at night wishing I hadn’t said or done something, and this approach has brought so much peace to my life. So, I love so much that wrote about it here. You are a teacher, Di. And the wold is a better place because you are in it. How lucky am I that my path crossed with yours and I get to be a part of your journey to acceptance and love. You are the best and a kind sweet soul. Much love to you! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear, dear Tanya… you will never fully know what your words have meant to me today….
      They are as encouraging as I could ever wish for and suggesting I’m a ‘teacher’ gave me a visceral reaction, one I’m now exploring for its message… thank you so much 🙏🏼
      And you have certainly been on a similar journey where you have arrived at a place of inner peace. It’s so important, in order to do the responding for others, rather that reacting which often sets up a chain of negativity…

      Your words really are so special to me and I believe I’m the fortunate one to have met you…we are a little team now I think. And I love that!
      Thank you again, lovely.
      Much love and a hug from me 🙋🏻💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Di, I am just so blown away that my saying that gave you such a reaction. It is how I think of you, so I am really happy I shared my thoughts with you. Your words are very special to me as well, and I do believe that we are indeed a little team. And it’s a pretty great team to be on, isn’t it??!
        Lots of love from me with a great big hug! ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dear Tanya…nothing left to say except ‘thank you’ for such a beautiful reply…
        Yes, a great team indeed 💐
        Love and hugs in return, my friend 🙋🏻💕

        Like

    1. Hello Brigid,
      Thank you for also letting me know there was a problem with my post on Reader. I think I just may have to email WordPress and see what’s going on🤔
      Thank you too, for searching for me though and leaving your supportive and lovely comments. They mean a lot. And yes, shining light on our darkness does make a huge difference and creates a personal ripple effect, I’m discovering.
      I’ll catch up on your post(s) today, as I accept I’m quite behind.
      Thank you for being here,
      Di 💕💐

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oohh Di…this.one didint appear.on my reader..so i have to check myself what’s been up with you…finding this post is really worth the trouble of waiting for my internet connection to load your site..

    This is really beautiful.
    No other words may best describe this post Di..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear Mich,
      That’s strange that it didn’t appear. But thank you so much for letting me know…I’ve had only a few readers and I wondered if there was something wrong…
      I’m so touched by your kind words. They have just made my night.
      Always grateful to have you visit my blog.
      Take care,
      Di 💐💕

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Really good post, Di. Those little green tentacles can get a tight grip sometimes! Your words:”In our wholeness, we can also at times be belligerent, jealous, thoughtless…” are so true. Often in the world of self-improvement and spirituality as we seek to better ourselves, we may feel pressure to be always ‘good’ but I agree with you that accepting those traits that will undoubtedly show up at times, are all part of being human. It’s the whole light vs dark thing, the contrast that shows us there are always two sides. And we need to love our two sides or there will always be conflict, I think. You always get me thinking with your posts! Hehe. 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Kim,
      Thank you very much for reading my post and expressing yourself here so beautifully.
      There is no more I need to add except thank you for being comfortable contributing what comes to mind when you read a post.
      It means a lot

      Thank you again,
      Di 🙏🏼💜🌹

      Like

  7. It’s such an huge post, not is terms of words but in aspects of human learning and evolution.
    Human race for ages have been practicing peer competition and oppression…(I am pointing about unhealthy competition). We have thrived on this and earned billions of sorrows. From the richest prosperous countries to poor and underprivileged ones, from kinder garden to universities, from families to friends we have sown weeds of cut through competition and oppression. No wonder we are miserable.
    Now we have to proof others for our own existence and that will never come ….again it competition at that end too.

    And as you mentioned Acceptance changes the game, yes it definitely does.
    Acceptance brings a border consciousness both at physical and mental level.
    The world is not just our home, even not our city or state , its infinite beyond our sense of comprehension.
    The life and its experiences , good or bad are quite equal just like two sides of a coin. Nothing we gain or lose but we evolve and progress, just by accepting the self. By accepting we raise our goal of life very high so we can sail high.

    Can infinity be ever be possessed ?,It can only be experienced. So with whom to compete now…I believe it’s the self.
    Accepting, Exploring and Evolving isn’t a bad idea 🙂

    Have a nice weekend my friend. Sorry if I again took you post in some other direction, but you know I like to write here.

    Love & Care

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear ArtOfMobile…
      Thank you so much for sharing your amazing perspective on my post and the ideas contained within.
      They are beautiful and meaningful thoughts and you know you are always welcome to take my posts in the direction of what comes to you when you read them…
      I really appreciate the fact you are comfortable sharing and being yourself here…
      Love and care to you too, my friend 🌹💕

      Like

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely thoughts, Kate…
      Yes, it does, and those little daily reminders…
      I appreciate your sentiments of peace and happiness for all too 💐✨✨

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Kate,
        Thank you! And I went to your blog home page but it must be under your other tab so I will have a look there.
        I shall look forward to seeing what it looks like 💐💕

        Like

      2. I have responded to quite a few comments by you, so maybe you just can’t see them in ‘reader’ .. most of my comments don’t appear in reader these days so WP does have a gremlin but authors always respond so my comments must be going onto their post .. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post Di. I’ve been working on self-acceptance a lot the last few years too. I like the idea of sympathetic joy and giving attention to those wounded parts within before they create too much havoc! And when I remember to see myself in others, it is much easier to feel compassion and connection.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Brad,
      Thank you so much for your kind and positive thoughts on this post.
      I’m so happy to see that it may have resonated for you…that means a lot.
      I think you’ll really enjoy the video if you have a chance to listen.
      All the best,
      And thank you for reading,
      Di 💐🙋🏻

      Liked by 1 person

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